Janet Allison, Jen Fink, and I have a discussion about boys and executive function for their podcast, On Boys.
CLICK HERE to listen to the FULL episode.
Does your son have a problem with executive function?
Let’s put it another way….
Does he struggle with homework, procrastination, time management, or lack of motivation? Does he have ADHD? If so, he probably needs help developing his executive functioning.
Boys who have executive function challenges typically struggle in two areas: Schoolwork and responsibilities. And parents who are distressed at their sons’ lack of achievement aren’t necessarily helicopter parents. Intuitively, parents realize that if boys can’t figure out how to get stuff done, their future options dwindle.
But simply nagging these boys won’t help. In fact, nagging often makes things worse.
Pay attention to these three things: systems, mindsets, and habits & routines.
In this episode, Jen, Janet & Seth discuss:
- What is executive function?
- Why boys with executive function challenges don’t struggle with Legos, video games or other activities they enjoy
- Why punishments & rewards aren’t effective motivation strategies
- Establishing reasonable expectations
- Helping kids who are behind (on turning in assignments, etc) “catch up”
- When (& how) to reach out to your son’s teacher
- How to deal with resistance
- Why it’s OK for your son to aim for a D (vs. a B)
- Exploring other educational options
CLICK HERE to listen to the FULL episode.
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Podcast Transcript: Coming soon!
I have homeschooled my son always. I am a highly organized, routinised, visual planner (used to be an autism teacher—make everything visual). Although he’s very creative, and we’ve always included time for this in our family, he has had lists, charts, pictures, visual reminders, consistent schedules, habits, and routines since he was very small. But he won’t use, follow, incorporate, design any of these things for himself. I guess I always figured eventually he would do it on his own, but he’s 18, and although he listens to my suggestions to do so—he won’t do it. Not even a reminder on his phone….UNLESS ITS FOR A FRIEND THING HE HAS PLANNED. It is beyond worrying. My only consolation is that WHEN HE SEES THE NEED, he can do stuff, but he is very reliant on holding it altogether in his head (at the expense of everything else). He so focuses on the ONE thing, that nothing else matters for a time. I’m tapped out. I just keep praying for maturity, further brain development, and good motivation to strike him. He’s a good kid, but habits that generally help people move forward seem not there.