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Does your child get stuck, immobilized, procrastinate, lose motivation, lack discipline, resist?
Adults often address these problems ineffectively.
This video will break down a key concept that will help.
Oh, and I’ve been recording on youtube live, and my face melts in the beginning – sorry about that – if you know how to fix this, please lmk!
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Video transcript:
Alright, what’s up? Everybody hated to stuff a step forward, I hope you are doing great and having great day. Sorry for the colors little off. You’ve been watching me for a while. If you can probably my channel. Subscribe to your subscribe to my blog you’ll notice that I’m in the new studio. So I have the officially moved back from Santa Monica to Boulder Colorado my old home and very glad to be here. It’s incredible being the breakdown so I’m super stoked and I’m here to give you the first blog or Vlog video of it in my new studio here. So let’s get to it. I’m going to talk about if your child gets stuck going to talk about a really important Corky concept that’s going to help you help your child get unstuck. So let me talk. I got my notes are I’m going to talk a little bit about what I mean by stuck if your child gets stuck your child can procrastinate they can appear unmotivated or they compare undisciplined. I can be really hard to get them to start on something that Be anything from homework to getting out the door in the morning to doing chores or whatever. The responsibilities are things that are non-preferred activities are things that they get stuck on and basically you can think of stuckness another word for stuckness is resistant. They’re resistant. They don’t feel like starting so they’re stuck. They can’t their immobilize they can’t get moving and we really have to understand is when it comes to this stuff missed. This is an emotional issue. Okay, this resistance you happen to stand is not just in your mind or not. Just being resistant or defiant. They are having an emotional reaction. They are having emotional overwhelm their overwhelmed by the idea of doing whatever it is they have to do it’s either not fun it either feels like it’s too much to do and I’m going to explain that in just a minute here and what you want to know parents and teachers and you Well, by the way in the US adults we get stuck we get resistant we go through the exact same process. What I’m about to explain to you also will be something that will help you with whatever you’re going through. So I’m going to give you two ways to help get unstuck, but basically Dee Dee’s kids with executive function issue. They have to process. The task that they have to do they have to mentally process it and it’s overwhelming. So that’s what creates is talking. So I’m going to talk about two big things right here. Stuckness is about abstraction and concrete send if that’s the word. I just made it up. So here’s what happened when something is abstract. Okay, when you say your tell you got to do your homework or you got to clean your room that is abstract. It feels big. It feels uncomfortable. Unless your child already is a pretty organized child somebody who can with their executive function. They can see the steps that are required to accomplish the task. It feels abstract things that feel abstract or uncomfortable. It is a mostly uncomfortable. We do not want to do things that you have. So in order to help your child get doing get unstuck and do the things that they need to do in there for their own future well-being. They have to go to concrete get to move from abstract to concrete. How do you move from abstract to concrete? How do you help your child get something that’s abstract and overwhelming that feels big in that they don’t feel like doing Get it concrete. So it’s something that they can imagine themselves doing so that they can get started so that they can actually do what they need to do for their own future will be the answer is very simple and it is chunking it things hafley chunk into bite-size pieces. How do you eat an elephant? That’s right one bite at a time a journey of a Thousand Miles begins with that’s right one step. These old sayings are saying for reason because there’s a lot of Truth in this stuff. There are two ways to jump to waste Chung parents two ways to chunk. I’m going to really break this down for you your child have to be able to conceptualize chunking things down either by time or Bypass or by both. Okay. So what I do when I’m teaching students how to plan these students who struggle with executive function have not learned how to plan planning is part of executive function. So they perceive it as one giant abstract past they have to learn to plan and it is a part of the process of planning is breaking down a task into smaller chunks so that it is bite-size so that you can take the Journey of a thousand miles and begin with a step not foresee the whole journey because that’s too overwhelming. You can proceed eating an elephant one bite at a time not receiving the whole thing because that is overwhelming. Okay, so you want to reduce the emotional overwhelmed by chunky by time and bypass. What the heck does that mean? Well, here’s what I mean chunking by time means that you take something. For example. I’m just going to use the two examples of a chore. For a homework assignment taking that and breaking it into a time. So if a student feel like I have to do this homework assignment or I have to do this chore that can feel very big and then you can say look let’s take a timer now parents. I’m telling you these little $10 timers people our parents are often resistant in buying them. And I don’t know why because it is one of the best investments you’ll ever make buy a bunch of these little timers. But to what you want to do is you want want to say okay cool. I understand your you don’t feel like doing can you clean your room for 5 minutes. Especially as you know your child I don’t care if they’re in elementary schools are there in high school doesn’t matter if you can develop a rapport with them and help them break that down. I know that it’s challenging the old are your kids get the better. There are humans getting all that stuff. But still you want to help get that. Can you clean a room for one minute? Can you clean your room for 3 minutes 5 minutes 10 minutes. It doesn’t really matter parents because what happens is once you even if you can get them to do it for one. What’s happened is this if you help them to change to reduce the emotional overwhelm, if you’ve helped reduce the address the emotional aspect of that resistance if you’re addressing that with him and you make it feel like it’s a bite-size Chuck and they can do that often times just getting started is enough to get a lot done. Now, we may not get the entire cast then and task completion is a whole different thing but to get them unstuck and get some momentum. You just want a little bit of momentum and you want to take that as far as you can go with. Okay. So always always always always always reward any tiny micro success, even if they just did it for a minute you want to reward that and build upon that but that counts a that is better than not doing anything. So anyhow, I said you want to junk my time and my text tell you what I mean by chunking by text, so that was an example of X by X. How long can you do it for him? And setting a timer and end in obviously pushing past the threshold past the comfort zone if you can the other thing is that you want to junk bypass. Some of that means is let’s take math example, but they that they have to do a math assignment unless it has 20 problems and that feels overwhelmed then they know it’s going to take them a long time. You might say, how many can you do? Can you do one? Can you do three? Can you do five? Can you do half of it? Can you do for the front side of this sheet? Can’t you what was so you want to jump by time and or buy task depending on the thing now another way I like to explain this to families is like that let them working with a student on writing and let’s say that we are writing but they’re five paragraph essay and I’m working with resistant writer. I might say them. All right. Can you can you write a five-paragraph essay know you write one paragraph? No. Can you write one sentence know you’re at home word know you’re my one letter. No, can you write one. Yes, and now that’s Obviously absurd but the point of this is that what I’m trying to illustrate here is reducing over while I have to get them to a point where they can conceptualize starting. I have to get them emotionally again, I’m going to say this so many times. This is an emotional issue. I have to get them emotionally comptable with a task at hand. So I need to junk it by time or beta take the big task chunk of into smaller chunks. Take the big task chunk get into smaller. I’m pieces. So I think that’s about all I have for this particular video if you like what I’m doing here on YouTube go ahead and subscribe by the way, we on YouTube live if you want to ask a question, right this second, you can type it in there if you want and I will answer by the second while I’m still on second if you like what I’m doing, please share this with the owner share my blog stuff perler.com with somebody right now and you can subscribe on my blog as well so that you get my updates every time I update and get all kinds of steps for hell. Executive function and finally, give me a comment below. Tell me your thoughts about this video. What works for you getting your child unstuck. What does your child gets stuck on, how can I help you even more? All right. I hope you have a wonderful day wherever you are, and I will see you soon. Take care.
It was a very nice video. Your videos always help me a lot with my son with Adhd issues.keep up the great work!